As time shows it to your perceptions.

Prelude

"I could not let go , I would not." These are the last words of a man left with seemingly impossible choices to choose. He had no more to live for except for the last thing he could still hold close to him. Humans are known for holding on to what they truly cherish but most humans do not even try to comprehend what is dear to them until they face the real danger of losing the supposedly cherished thing that we most of us take for granted of. This foible of ours a majority of us do not realize that it is in all of us , those who claims that they truly cherish something that they love shows that they are unable , yet , of appreciating.

Adrianis Kross , as he is known to his friends and family back before when .......

Last Saturday , the day of days of my days .

That was the day when I thought less of other days. I got out finally. And this time it was not because I had something needed to do but actually I wanted to do. I had done two things , that day , two awesome things. Let go to it chronologically , the first was almost exciting , since I did not go into the field but fun none the less. What was the thing I did? It was paintball. I've seen it several times before but not firsthand. The downside was I only got to target shoot. It was free of charge , a promotion by the facility owner but there was no feel comparing playing in the field I would assume. By the way , playing in the field needs registration and payment. In which I am not in a financial position to join in as of the nearest time. The facility is new and recently opened. As I have heard , it is the only local indoor paintball facility. Well , talk is talk , in this case words are words , here are some proofs.

Most of the rifles are being used in the field right now....


I am definitely going back there someday when papers denoted as currency are in my pocket :D.

The second of my doing was going out with some friends. Well I just don't seem to see any good elaborating this so I will just describe it with this blog's words. It was a nice change to the usual I had daily. We went out and watched a band battle. It was exciting , we had fun , laughed , felt joy and met with some more friends. I don't feel like posting anymore of this. That's it , taa!

Moons and Stars

Once again , this is one of tales that will not end happy nor ever after , just plain sad and pathetic. There was this boy , lets call him Chris. And there was this girl he really liked , really liked. Lets call her , Rose. Chris truly cared for her. But she was oblivious , probably intentionally ignorant. She had others in her mind. Still , Chris only had her to think , to fight and to live on. Chris endured a harsh life , poor Chris .... still alive to endure torment what he thought is life. Chris lived a lonely life , his family was long gone. He was poisoned with negativity and sadness. Chris had a hard time to express himself to Rose , but he would have in anyway to find it hard to express his feelings to any other girls. Few people understood Chris .. but the reality is , Rose knew what or how Chris felt for her. She knew , yes she knew. She dismisses this feeling he had for her. Always putting up a wall between her and him. She denies that feeling , in turn denying him. Then that day came , when she truly blocked him out , as if he was some kind of a diseased , a broken or.... a flawed soul.

Chris was unfortunately imperfect , but the void could have been filled by her presence in his life. That void slowly devouring him from the inside , unable to be satisfied , it consumed him. He was pale and grieving. Consequently , his life is disordered. Due to this he was pressured to get back on his feet. But failed , all this failure had amounted to an unacceptable burden. It was clear to him , "I tire of this ." he said. One last call , to her. "Hello ...?". The line was hanged up. He would usually thought that the phone was faulty. But this time , he knows , yes he knows.
He grabs a pen and paper. " You are the moon , and the stars are meant to beautify you more . You are out of my reach , to hold you would make me feel alive and kill me . You are there to awe and be admired , I am neither . You are everything , I am nothing . " He folded it , at the glint of moonlight , in his room , Chris staked his heart , between the 4th and 5th rib. His death by knife and his last message would be known , if the fire did not start. Chris left his stove on. His burnt corpse truly was incinerated , the blade dropped when his ashed heart crumbled. And so , his tragedy was only known as an accident by the few of his close friends. Those who had attended the funeral. The message that Chris left , never reached Rose .

Death is rarely late , appreciate .

In all of of human life , the undeniable fact that Death is constantly working may horrify some of us but it should not let it defeat our will to live . Some of us are fighting away the thought , some of us are reminded by it each day and some of us strive by dismissing the thought of meeting Death .We fight the thought so the young would fight less , we are reminded each day by the thought so it motivates us to live for our kin and we ignore it so we could savor Life with our kin .

I am certainly not the one that should point out , define and/or rant about Death or Life . I am certainly not experienced on this topic . I expect everyone else already knows this . That a life is certainly less appreciated these days , a life is much more comparable to material objects . Too often this occurs .

I should have realized this fact sooner ... it would have done quite a lot of good . I hope its not too late .

Eh.. ?

Hm.... something's wrong .... . Where is everybody ? Did everyone went somewhere eventful and I was not invited ? I sure hope not , when that happened last time ... yes it happened ... I'm sure someone in this world experienced it too . Now you must think I'm some kind of an anti-social person . I'm not , people seem to misunderstand me a lot . Well , this empty list of IM is sure bothering . I hope someone comes online soon . *wink wink*

Awesome ...I N T E R N E T ?

"Wow "... I said to myself , "all this stuff going through my electronic box" . That was 6 years ago , when I first encountered this phenomenon . And I saw the that I had full control , indeed I did . I just haven't realized that there was much more to explore , this computer. All I did back then were playing games . Awesome games though , it was called ..... hm I can't remember . Okay , back to the topic . The Internet can be explained simply as computers world wide connected via copper wires , literally , copper wires . These wires lengths with distances equivalent across continents but you can read that in Wikipedia , no need for me to explain it eh? Now , all of us could have full control of the computer , yes okay you've said it "But I don't know how." Of course we don't , all the more reason we need to learn .



The fact is , computers almost never cause any error by it's own fault, homo sapiens do . If we command a computer to do anything it will do it . Tell it to cause an error and damage its Master Boot Record Partition ... it will ... . Yes I did that a few too many times but it was out of curiosity . I was 'exploring' , everyone does it . Trial and error is always the best way to go in any situation relating computers for me . Whats my point? You see , most people are intimidated because they say computers are complicated . It may seem so but it is made simple with the latest Operating Systems . Without these we would all be typing our way to the Internet instead of clicking it , and the phrase , "one click away" would not be coined . Let us all explore this wonder instead of shying away from it .

Pathetic , Inferior , Useless

Three words that I could say about me right now . "I should always be positive." I told myself that a lot these days . I can't do those things you asked me . But I should try . I failed . Now it seems pointless . You know what I am referring to . Everyone is ahead of me . I don't I think I could catch up anymore . Anyway , let me tell myself that positivity is the way to go . Nope , nothing happened . Should anyone read this ... it was posted when I was really upset or bored . Probably annoyed by something in life . I should laugh at 'it' and ask for more assaults from life . I think 'it' needs to be annoyed back . I'll think of a way . *Laughs maniacally*